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i am a filipino.  what should have been done prior to the invitation was ask  around or maybe from the internet what is the culture or expectations when it comes to inviting a girl or any Filipino friend/s.   not just one source.. but from several sources - both from the locals and from your friends who had been in the Philippines.

when we invite someone.. let's say not necessarily a boyfriend or girlfriend, but also a co-Filipino, even with my close friends as a matter of fact, it is always understood that the one who is inviting is paying.  it is a positive way of saying, ok i'm going to treat you today. it's on me.. for a reason.- maybe a birthday treat, or something to celebrate about.   it is always almost like a pride to us that we can treat our friends without having to obligate anyone. it is the same both for the rich and the poor Filipinos, if i may say.

if you are close friends, then it is not an invitation. it is going to be an agreement among us that we will share.  we do that only when we are already acquainted with each other. otherwise, if you are inviting me for lunch and we are not close, i will have to ask why.. or sense that you are interested in me.  when we are already friends and you invite me, i will go out with you, and already at the table i will say, ok i will pay for the drinks. or i like to add some dessert; would you want some? i will pay for this.  that's how it work.s

your treating the family for lunch- free on their part is understood as, especially in the first few dates- that you are wooing the girl, you can afford to marry her (that advance), and it is your generosity and interest to know them better is the thing  moves you to treat them.

the ingratitude of the family members.  apologies for that.  those in the province are usually not as straightforward and vocal as you can expect them to be.  the "yes" can mean "no". the "no" can mean "not totally no". in time as the family get to know you better, they will respond by showing you in some special ways how much they appreciate your good gesture towards them.  it was not rudeness..  just a need for you to allow some time for them to also know you.   besides, you are wooing the girl. should they be thankful that you are going to court her?

  up to now, even in the jeepneys when i receive the coins passed to me from a passenger to the driver, usually the passenger does not thank me.  i have made it a point to demonstrate appreciation by ALWAYS thanking the person passing my fare to the driver. i always think that it is already an understanding that when i'm in the jeep, there's no other way for the passengers to deliver the payment to the driver but by passing the payment through the other passengers.

hope this brings some light on the ways of the Filipinos that are  not  in the books.