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Mike,

I know you said you were not "in love", and I am sure that you believe that totally.  I think however that often people dont really know how happy they are, how much they love their partner, how totally invested they are in the others lives, till they lose them.  It is enough that you are happy now.  I remember there was a time that my wife (now deceased) asked me directly "are you happy?", and I was kind of without words for a little while.  Like you I thought I was content, comfortable, and any number of other adjitives to describe an ok spirit about our lives.  It never occured to me that I should be filled with joy on a daily basis.  I told her I was content in our relationship.    I lost her about 7 years ago and came then to know.. just how very happy I had been, and the beauty of that love was that I never had to think about it and could enjoy the luxury of not thinking about it each day or having to seek any daily "joy".  But joy was there and I did not know it till I lost her.  I am now married (for about 5 years now) to a Philippina lady, and like you have adopted two of her children (a 3rd is an adult with kids of her own).  I am coming to this new life and relationship with my eyes opened and I hope I will never take that "comfort, and contentment" for granted.  I hope I will always each day seek the happiness of her and to find a new way to enjoy our time together.  I often feel I may have wasted much of my previous 29 years of marriage, by missing these things.  I hope not to miss whatever I have left, with the lovely lady that has ageed to spend that time with me. 

Unlike the other writers, I do not see in your writing any intended disrespect for your wife or of Philippinas, but merely one mans way of dealing with his own life.  I for one just think there is much more there then you can admit to yourself exists.. and assuradly more then you think in terms of feelings on the part of your wife.  But hey!  It is no one elses business how you deal with your own matters of the heart, or finances or family, or whatever.  Good luck and may you continue to be content in your life and lifes approaches.

Jim